Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
What do you call black Man having a seizure? Chocolate shake
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
well i was gonna make a joke about drunk people but that would be good for the health
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
Why is there no chemists in Africa? Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
John pretended to be a doctor. Motu came to him. He said "I lost my hunger". John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said "Your hunger is back!" Then,Motu said "I lost my taste." John said "Number 1,bring some water." Motu drank it and said "This is petrol!" John said "Your taste is back!" Motu said "I lost my memory." John said "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said "But Number 1 brought water." John said "Your memory is back!"
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN’S JOKES are the disease
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
