Medicine Jokes

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?

It's funnier when kids get it.

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."

A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.

o_o

Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.

Why is it cold in hospitals?

To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.

How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?

It's only got 10 hours to live.

Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.

If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀

I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?

Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

They never get old.

A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.

Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?

A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.

Doctor: Sex is good for you!

What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?

A seizure salad.

I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.