Medicine

Medicine jokes

Man

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

Ugliness

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

Humour

What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?

It's funnier when kids get it.

Doctor

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."

Memes

Painkiller

There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.

Kid

How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?

It's only got 10 hours to live.

Hand

If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀

Finger

I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?

Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.

Cancer

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

They never get old.

Liver

Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?

A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏

Boob

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

Rape

Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.

Doctor: Sex is good for you!

Toilet Paper

I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.

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  • Bone

    If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.