What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
Erectile dysfunction.
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?
A) Cancer.
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
If Stephen Hawking Gets a Heart Attack, where do you go, The hospital or curry’s PC World
Why is there no chemists in Africa? Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
