Medicine jokes
I have nut cancer...
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"
Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
CANCER!
Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.
My brackets are so high on my teeth, they must be smoking something.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.
When the doctor saw this, he said,
"From Type 2 Diabetes!"
Get it?
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.