ME jokes
Okay, I'm so sorry, Alya, and Drew. I didn't mean to say that you guys were stupid and cringy. I mistyped. Can you guys forgive me by any chance? I'm so sorry :(
My friend Arid asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him, "I read."
Get it? I read? No... ok.
Add me on Fortnite: Bujjj Boy.
Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"
Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.
My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.
Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."
Stephen Hawking died because he got hacked by me, and the update was too strong.
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
My dad came back!
Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."
Me: Hey you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong.
Trashy pig woman: Why?
Me: Because you smell like fart and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
"Break me a piece of that Kit Kat bar."
There is a young lady.
She is beautiful.
She got much vote.
But she speaks very fast.
Does she think she looks smart doing that?
She makes me feel bad.
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.