ME jokes

My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.

I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.

Huh what you say?

Come fight me, suck a dick.

I said to the orphan, "Do you want me to take you to your family? Oh wait..."

EVERYONE:

"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"

My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.

Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.

poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?

pOOp

My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

My roasts aren't funny. At least this shit gets me money.

Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol

When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."

"Does this make any cents?" a man says.

"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.

If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.

I dunno man, worked for me.

What's long, hard, and full of semen?

Answer: Me.

I may not be the brightest candle on the cake, but you can still blow me.

My mom left me at a very young age.

You may not like me, but you still look up to me.

Bully: Your fat.

Me: Fat is something to fix, but your face isn't.

Let's chat here, sisters!

Kariah, blue heart!

Lariah, pink heart!

Iariah, yellow heart!

Me, green heart!

HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)