ME jokes

Me: It smells like good fam.

Friend: What's good fam?

Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?

Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"

Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.

Me: Mine DON'T :(

I love the word legs.

Wanna help me spread the word?

One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?

Boss: Can I do a reference check?

Me: I don’t have a...

*sensei appears*

Me: oh no

Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.

Boss: What's kiz...

Sensei:😈

Me: Oh no, here we go.

Sensei: Kizma AS-

What did the toaster say to the bread?

"I want you inside me!"

Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"

Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"

Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"

They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.

Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?

Brother: Sure.

Me: Turn off the light.

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

What say the child to the man? Shalom.

Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"

Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"

Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.

Hey mylady.

Hey bro.

Me mylady.

Me a bro.

Me: Hi Kallen.

Kallen: Hi.

Me: You're too big to fit in my car.

Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?

Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.

Me: Oh, okay.

Goes to school.

Teacher: How were humans made?

Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.

Teacher: 😑

"Lune, it’s me."

Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.

If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.