ME jokes

Prince

Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?

Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??

Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.

Gwen

Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.

War

Hello Honey Bunches, it's me, Your Narrator. I was told by my buddy youthpartorryan he's in the middle of a war... I may be super wholesome but war against my buddy? Ho ho ho, no! A STORM IS COMING. #BestFriends

Imposter

Me: Bomber333 is the imposter!

Other Crewmate: Why do you say that as if you know who the imposter is with 100% certainty?

Then he read my username and knew.

Memes

Dick

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have big dick. Add me.

Snapchat- any.bry05

Man

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.

Snapchat: @colin_green21

Bum

Me: I broke me bum.

Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.

Parent

What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...

Wife

When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.

Me: Takes five minutes.

Me: Hun, you done yet?

Mind

My bestie: Are you dirty-minded?

Me: Do I have dirt in my mind? No.

Makeup

Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?

My sister wearing all the world's makeup.

Sister: Just a little.

Dollar

A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.

He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.

Woman

A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.

Life

Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?

...

You do realize that I said nothing, right?

Me: Exactly :)