ME jokes

What's a native chick say after sex?

"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"

Me say, "Crack my finger."

My hubby crack my finger.

Now say it backwards.

Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?

"Me fa so?"

Roses are red, violets are blue, give me free OnlyFans so I don't touch the youth.

I play with balls. Not me, the girl that was "playing something."

You: You are such a flick pain.

Me: You are flick pain to my sight.

Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.

Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?

Brother: Why though?

Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.

"You gave me the same sweater as last year."

"You s w e a t e r believe it."

Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.

Hey dad, I'm hungry!

Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?

A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.

The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."

"You should tell your parents," I replied back.

The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.

I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"

Joke: Me.

What's the difference between a knife and me?

One has a point.

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!

Does anyone else just want to die, or is it just me?

"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."