Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand. He said, But Dad I'm blind. Exactly
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said “ Let me break it down for you like the twin towers.”
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
A kid asks his dad why his name is expirence, the dad says that's what we give our mistake's.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia."
"Wait! I can explain everything."
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
Wait, I can explain everything!
me explaining my child : when your mom is sitting on a table in her periods, its called periodic table
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?" The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
3 people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free".
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
she àsked How can you explain a yellow colour to a blind man
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?". She replied, "Two or three". Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
Shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store. He was asked to give an EGGsplanation.
hi evyerone my mom got me an ipad today and this is really cool cna someone tell em what decapitation is
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked : " Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work ? "
The teacher asks her class "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says "sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this. But the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
