ME jokes

My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"

I saw a poor man and I gave him money, and he said, "Nope, I don't need money." So I gave him money, and he punched me for no reason.

Hi Liv & KK! It's me Gwen, remember me from the orphan joke protest?

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going out and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home, and I will get back with him tomorrow morning.

Follow me on Instagram @v2good.at.fortnite and @v2good.at.edits for a surprise ;)

Follow me on Instagram @v2good.at.fortnite and @v2good.at.edits for a surprise.

Btw, you have to like all my posts :)

I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD

PS free sex at my name

Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”

Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”

Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”

Ex-girlfriend: “20!”

Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”

Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...

I think Jesus is broken.

Who wants to see me rape a toddler?

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."

A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!

A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"

Roses are red, I'm off the grid,

John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.

Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?

Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.

Me: Oh, okay.

Goes to school.

Teacher: How were humans made?

Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.

Teacher: 😑

Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.

"Lune, it’s me."

If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.

What's the difference between me and you?

Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-

Me: You know your parents were very good people.

Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.

Me: I know, you're an orphan.