Man jokes
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
Memes
Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
The man fired from the World Trade Center on September 10.
That is just plain wrong.
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
What was the first man made out of? Adams! (Atoms)
A man walked into a bar. No wait, a horse,
A man walked into a horse.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.