My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

yo mama’s so stupid she got locked in Matress World and slept on the floor.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor

There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”

What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.

The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”

As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs

a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that’s my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask’s whats that,the little girl says "that’s my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask’s the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try’s putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see’s blood on the floor the mother ask’s "what happened the little girl say’s “we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off”

How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles? You nail its other hand to the floor.

Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

How are guys and tile floors alike

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?

He wanted to see a floor show.

Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?

He wanted to mash potatoes!

What is sprinkled around the pokemon floor? Oh right. Ash’s ashes.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, “Whats that?” the little boy says, “That’s my little red race car.” 10 minutes later the boy looks down and asks, “Whats that?” the little girl says, "that’s my little red race car garage.” So later that night the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She said yes and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit. Down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor, the mother asks "What happened?” the little girl says, “We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off.”

I didn’t trip and fall… I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning :3

What’s more fun than nailing a baby to the floor Ripping it off with a kick

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