Man jokes
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
What would a heterosexual woman that is a whore do for $500.00 that a gay man would be willing to do for free for a heterosexual man at a glory hole?
Suck his big cock.
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
I saw an orphan take a selfie... oh man, that was one alone family photo.
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
100% of them are like him!
Man, Uranus is so big!
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
What is a gay man's favorite hobby?
Cockfighting.