Man jokes
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
Memes
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
The man fired from the World Trade Center on September 10.
That is just plain wrong.
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
What do you call 6 gay men in WW2?
Rainbow Six Siege.
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.