Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.
Man Jokes
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
The man fired from the World Trade Center on September 10.
That is just plain wrong.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
What was the first man made out of? Adams! (Atoms)
A man walked into a bar. No wait, a horse,
A man walked into a horse.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
