Man

Man jokes

Cannibal

"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"

"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."

"I meant the ice cream, bro..."

Orphan

I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...

Memes

Giraffe

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

Anniversary

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

Nemo

What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"

Prison

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

Bullet

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

Phone

Man: Hey Siri!

Siri: Yes?

Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?

Siri: Uh...

*phone literally explodes*

Kid

"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021

Bastard

What's the definition of a bastard?

Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!

Bear

Man: Knock, knock...

Boy: Who's there?

Man: Bear...

Boy: Bear who?

Man: Bear bottom.