Mammal jokes
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
God creating cats.
GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.
ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?
GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
Donkeys are cool.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?
A porkypine!
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
Two baby seals walk into a club.
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!