Goat jokes
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?
Bisexual.
Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
MAGAnon is the goat.
🦆🦆🦆
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
Nancy, the throat goat!
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Polo G is the goat, but that means nothing to you.
Goats are like mushrooms.
If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.