Sheep jokes
Sheep want to wool the world :)
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.
Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.
Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!
Llama: What's your damn problem?
Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!