What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
Sheep Jokes
Sheep want to wool the world :)
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
You guys have very baaaaaaa-d puns!
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.
What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
Mary had a little lamb. Chick, chick, bam! No more lamb.
Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.