Mammal jokes
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
LYNXXXXXXX!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What do emos and bats have in common? The both hang.