Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
LYNXXXXXXX!
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?
A BUNny.
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
