Mammal jokes
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
LYNXXXXXXX!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!