What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
Bat Jokes
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
What is a big animal 🦓? A bat 🦇!
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
Batman vs Superman?
