Bat jokes
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
What is a big animal 馃? A bat 馃!
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn鈥檛 hang in there.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
Tum tum tum tum tum Sahur
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 馃└馃嵀馃槀
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here鈥檚 another.
Why can鈥檛 China play baseball? They ate the bat.
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
What's brown and hurts your teeth? A chocolate? No. A baseball bat in my hands.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn鈥檛 ask about the other one!"