Livestock jokes
What do you call a cow with no legs?
I had a calf for a while. The milk was bad until we bought a heifer.
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
I am a sheep.
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).
What do cows call money?
Moola.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
A cow with no legs.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).