My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Livestock Jokes
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
moo.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
What does a cow say? Moo.
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
