Livestock jokes
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
moo.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
What does a cow say? Moo.
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.