My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave...
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo? -- Too many cheetahs!
two men are hunting. one asks: did you ever hunt bear? the other one answers: no, but one time i went fishing in my shorts
A cow went into a pride of lion’s territory?
Since that moment he knew his life was on stake
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, whats your emergency?” The hunter replies “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle?- cause there are cheetahs!!
Why did the tiger loose at poker? Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Why don’t cheetahs get married? They always cheat on each other
How does the zebra cross the road . The zebra crossing
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
What’s the difference between a aligator and a child?
You can’t abuse a aligator
So a bear and a rabbit are in field, the bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "does your poop stick to your fur?" And the rabbit replied, "no" and the bear then picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there. Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I was walking in the forrest with my gf I had a desert eagle for protection A bear jumped out of the bushes one shot was enough to put my gf down and it gave me enough time to run away
