Mammal jokes
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
What does a bear beat off with?
His bear hands.
What is a monkey's favorite game? A Hangman!
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
Seal Vs Sea Lion
I'm a cheetah, I cheat, duh?
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
Why do cheetahs have spots?
Chickenpox!
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’.
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
What did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
"I'm a Cheetah!"