Jonah jokes

Girl

    • A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.

    The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

    The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."

    The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"

    The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

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    Whale

    • Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

    Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

    Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

    Teacher: He did not.

    Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

    Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

    Suzy: Then you can ask him.

    Coconut

    • My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.

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    Bomb

    • "You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"

    In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

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    • Dog

    • I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.

    Onions was a good dog.

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    • Wife

    • Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."

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