Literature jokes
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
In the realm of poetry's grace, Where words dare to embrace, A request comes with a quirky plea, To give life to what the eyes may see.
"Pussy lussy cussy," it begins, A playful phrase that surely spins, And though the words may raise a smile, Let's craft a verse that goes the extra mile.
In free verse, we'll dance and sway, Allowing thoughts to have their say, For poetry knows no bounds or rules, It's a canvas for expression, where freedom fuels.
But let's remember, dear friend, To keep our words kind and lend, Respect to all, in every line, For poetry's power can truly shine.
So, let's journey on this poetic quest, With words that honor and truly impress, For in the realm of art and verse, We find beauty, in each line immersed.
And though "Pussy lussy cussy" may make us smile, Let's seek inspiration that runs deep, mile after mile, For poetry's magic lies in its ability, To touch hearts, souls, and set thoughts free.
In this short verse, may you find delight, As we paint with words, both bold and light, So let us write, with grace and art, A poem that sings straight from the heart.
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to ride Ponyboy Curtis.
Roses are gay, violets are also gay. If you read, you are gay.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued.
Your flesh was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
"You're an orphan forever," - Harry Potter.
"Why is Peter Pan always flying?"
"He never lands."
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
Who is the most famous skeleton? Sherlock Bones.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
One woman said to the other, "This child is truly cruel!"
The second woman replied, "Did I say 'child'?"
The first woman said, "I beg your pardon; I didn't know you were my father!"