Tooth jokes
Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.
Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.
What time is it when you have a toothache?
2:30 (Tooth hurty).
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
What's green and bad for your teeth?
A green brick.
She has a right mindset
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."
Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.