Recipe jokes
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
How do you make holy water?
You take normal water and boil the hell out of it.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
Memes
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!