Recipe jokes

Curry.

What the can say to the tomato?

Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾

I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.

What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?

You cook spaghetti with his blood!

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

How do you make an elephant float?

One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!

What is the best way to end a cookbook?

And that’s a wrap!

What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.

Where did the chef put the disease?

In Ebola.

The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.

Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.

"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.

And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."

To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."

To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣

Note to self.

When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".

Google "cream pie recipes".

How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

How to make emo cakes:

Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!

The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.