Recipe jokes
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.
The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.
The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.
The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.
So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
Spaghetti-ashannaise
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.
Curry.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.