Poem

Poem Jokes

Version

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

Pregnancy

Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.

Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.

Rose

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.

Guy

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

Girlfriend

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

Watcher

Roses are red, violets are blue. If you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

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  • Roast

    Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.

    Trash

    Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.

    Rhyme

    Roses are red, lemons are sour.

    Spread your legs and give me an hour.

    Girlfriend

    My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day:

    Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.

    Rose

    Roses are red.

    Violets are blue.

    Once I'm done choking you,

    You will be too.

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  • Bill Cosby

    What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.

    Rose

    Roses are red. Violets are too. You better run, I’m following you!

    Color

    Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.

    Rose

    Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs, so I can devour.

    Wiener

    Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.

    Marriage

    A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,

    "Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."

    Rose

    Roses are red, my blood is too. I see a lot when I lost you.

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