Novel jokes
Yo mama is so strict that in The Outsiders, she was Darry.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
Yo mama is so ugly that not even the Socs wanted to jump her.
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
Make him read a book.
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said, "Go away, you won’t bring it back."
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.