Novel jokes
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said, "Go away, you won’t bring it back."
I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.
What is a gay person's favorite book?
The dictionary.
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
Moby Dick's father's name...
Papa Boner.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.