Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said, "Go away, you won’t bring it back."
I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.
What is a gay person's favorite book?
The dictionary.
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
I gave my blind friend a peice of sand paper, he said it was the most grusome book ever.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
Moby Dick's fathers name... Papa Boner.
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
