Novel jokes
"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.
My favorite novel is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to read?
50 Cents of Gray.
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
Moby Dick's father's name...
Papa Boner.
What is a gay person's favorite book?
The dictionary.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.