Novel jokes
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to read?
50 Cents of Gray.
Moby Dick's father's name...
Papa Boner.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Make him read a book.
Yo mama is so ugly that not even the Socs wanted to jump her.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.
My favorite novel is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
What is a gay person's favorite book?
The dictionary.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.