Literature jokes

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

Roses are red, violets are blue.

These jokes are old, come up with something new!

Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.

Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?

A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.

How do poets say hello?

Hey, haven’t we metaphor?

How does the author of Harry Potter get around?

She walks, JK, Rowling!

Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!

Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?

"To be and not to be."

Voldemort: Knock, knock.

Harry Potter: Who's there?

Voldemort: You know.

Harry Potter: You know who?

Voldemort: Exactly!

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.

Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.

Do you know why Peter Pan is always flying?

Because he Neverlands!

Roses are red, violets are blue, most of your jokes are stolen, is not original to you.

I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.

Now for my joke...

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he never lands.

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.

"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"

Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.