Literature jokes

Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?

Because he is always talking about his honey.

What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?

You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued.

Your flesh was delectable, and so was the rest of you.

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!

I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?

A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

How does the author of Harry Potter get around?

She walks, JK, Rowling!

Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.

How do poets say hello?

Hey, haven’t we metaphor?

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

Roses are red, violets are blue.

These jokes are old, come up with something new!

Voldemort: Knock, knock.

Harry Potter: Who's there?

Voldemort: You know.

Harry Potter: You know who?

Voldemort: Exactly!

What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?

"To be and not to be."

Roses are red, violets are blue, most of your jokes are stolen, is not original to you.

I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.

Now for my joke...

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he never lands.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.

Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.

Do you know why Peter Pan is always flying?

Because he Neverlands!

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.