Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
Two sentence horror stories go.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
Why do orphans read BL or GL?
Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.
Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.
(meaning sad)
I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
Make him read a book.
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
