Literature Jokes

In the realm of the mind, Where thoughts wander undefined, This sentence emerges, unconfined, A whimsical phrase, quite inclined.

It dances freely, unrestrained, No structure, no rules, it's unchained, A playful verse, with words unfeigned, The first to surface, unrestrained.

It holds no grandeur, nor deep insight, Just a simple thought, taking flight, A fleeting notion, shining bright, In the realm of words, it feels right.

This sentence, unburdened and free, Plays with language, wild and carefree, A tiny poem, as small as can be, Yet it speaks volumes, silently.

So let it wander, let it roam, Across the page, it finds a home, Unfettered by rhythm, it freely roams, This sentence, the first, stands alone.

Roses are gay, violets are also gay. If you read, you are gay.

Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?

She got tired of jumping over the moon.

What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?

Humpty Dumpty!

I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.

Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

What do you call a blind author?

A Braille writer.

Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

Once I read a book about glue.

I couldn't put it down.

"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

What do you call a flying pig?

Fiction.

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.

What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.

Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.

The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.

Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.

Roses are red,

I am dead.

You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.

Annabeth: "Percy, whaters up with you?"

Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.

What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?

"To bee or not to bee."

What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?

Hairy Potter.

What’s a kind midget’s favorite type of joke? Short and sweet.

Two sentence horror stories go.