Literature jokes

I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!

How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?

50.

Doctor Seuss break up lines:

"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.

Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.

Make him read a book.

I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

What kind of book does cheese read at a church?

The Hole-y Bible.

What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?

The Two Towers.

Two sentence horror stories go.

Why do orphans read BL or GL?

Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.

A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”

My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

Sayori: *dies*

Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"

MC: "😨"

What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?