Literature jokes
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
Make him read a book.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
Why do orphans read BL or GL?
Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.
What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.
Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.
The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.
Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!