Literature jokes
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
I was reading a book about an immortal cat the other day; it was impossible to put down.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Look at me again,
It will be the end of you.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
These jokes are old, come up with something new!
Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many PROBLEMS and not enough RAP.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!