What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Look at me again,
It will be the end of you.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
These jokes are old, come up with something new!
Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many PROBLEMS and not enough RAP.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!
Only Dick Rapeboat got is his rhyming dictionary.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to read?
50 Cents of Gray.
In the realm of poetry's grace, Where words dare to embrace, A request comes with a quirky plea, To give life to what the eyes may see.
"Pussy lussy cussy," it begins, A playful phrase that surely spins, And though the words may raise a smile, Let's craft a verse that goes the extra mile.
In free verse, we'll dance and sway, Allowing thoughts to have their say, For poetry knows no bounds or rules, It's a canvas for expression, where freedom fuels.
But let's remember, dear friend, To keep our words kind and lend, Respect to all, in every line, For poetry's power can truly shine.
So, let's journey on this poetic quest, With words that honor and truly impress, For in the realm of art and verse, We find beauty, in each line immersed.
And though "Pussy lussy cussy" may make us smile, Let's seek inspiration that runs deep, mile after mile, For poetry's magic lies in its ability, To touch hearts, souls, and set thoughts free.
In this short verse, may you find delight, As we paint with words, both bold and light, So let us write, with grace and art, A poem that sings straight from the heart.
Why did the math book kill itself?
It had too many problems.
