Literature jokes

People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.

What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.

I read a book on anti-gravity...

It was impossible to put down.

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

Running, JK rolling!

Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to ride Ponyboy Curtis.

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

Your mom's a lead, Poe.

"Why is Peter Pan always flying?"

"He never lands."

Who is the most famous skeleton? Sherlock Bones.

Yo mama is so evil that Dallas Winston fell in love with her.

"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?

Looks like I've only got myself to blame...

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?

Wife: In a detective novel.

Yo mama is so strict that in The Outsiders, she was Darry.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.

B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

C is for Clara who wasted away.

D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.

E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.

F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.

G is for George smothered under a rug.

H is for Hector done in by a thug.

I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.

J is for James who took lye by mistake.

K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.

L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.

M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.

N is for Neville who died of ennui.

O is for Olive run through with an awl.

P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.

Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.

R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.

S is for Susan who perished of fits.

T is for Titus who flew into bits.

U is for Una who slipped down a drain.

V is for Victor squashed under a train.

W is for Winnie embedded in ice.

X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.

Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.

Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.

The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"