Language jokes
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.
My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?
What do you call a banana that peels itself?
Appealing!
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
How do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
Eschew obfuscation.
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
What did the cow say to the other cow?
Moo you fine.
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: A broken pencil.
Friend: A broken pencil who?
Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.