Language jokes
How do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
Eschew obfuscation.
Sneed feed seed.
Formerly Chuck's!
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
What did the cow say to the other cow?
Moo you fine.
Memes
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: A broken pencil.
Friend: A broken pencil who?
Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?
What do you call a banana that peels itself?
Appealing!
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"
"Scoop pa tun manaa?"
Glip gloop glap.
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.