Language jokes

Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?

Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?

What does a cat say when it's angry?

- Stop stressing meowt!

Spell "IOUT", no space.

Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."

Is buttcheeks one word?

Or should I spread them?

We have been cursed by curse-ive.

"How do you make 7 even?"

"Take away the s."

There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."

Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.

You want to hear some marriage jokes?

Don't worry, it's just a couple.

It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.

Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.

So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.

Mom, Mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand.

Little Johnny, good! But he's not "bien" yet.

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"

The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Abby.

Abby who?

Abby C D E F G!

Dad, sad, bad, rad, nad, tad, glad, clad, plaid, had.

What do you call a suspicious dog?

A sussy bark-er.