Language jokes
You just made a Mist-ake.
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
Uremn es abarancin yngnumma gety asuma qshi tun?
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
Mohe?
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
What does lmao mean? Laughing miles.
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
Hana?
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
How do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
Eschew obfuscation.