Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.
Alpha Kenny body?
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
What say the child to the man? Shalom.
Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"
Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"
Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
