Obese is the N-word for fat people.
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
Speak in AAVE, Mr. Bear...
Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.
You're really special.
But the R in special is silent.
Alpha Kenny body?
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
