Language jokes
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
So true
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
A teacher says, "What comes before 47?" Quiet kid: "AK!"
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?
Then you get the name Chrisa.
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
Say, "Crack my fingers."
Now say that backwards...
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
Did you know there is no "p" in the alphabet? ABCDEFGHIJKLM(NOP)!
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...
"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.