Language jokes
What does LMAO mean?
Launching missiles at orphanage.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dyslexic.
Dyslexic who?
You.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The butt.
The butt who?
The butt goes mooooo!
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
My name has "anus" in it.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.
What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.
Hey, can you hold this for a second?
A single sentence walks into a bar.
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Flat.
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
Nerverack.
I have 25 friends from the alphabet, but don't ask me why.
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!