French Jokes

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert."

The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him."

The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake."

The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."

English: Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no. Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?” “Under my bench,” he replies.

French: Toto est à l’école et demande s’il peut aller au salle de bain. La maîtresse dit non. Puis, elle demande à Toto, “Où est le plus grand riviere du monde ?” “Sous mon banc,” il répond.

What do you call your angry french aunt

A crossaunt

A German went to France for holiday and here is the scene, French border staff: Occupation? German: No, no, no, just visiting.

What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

Where does a French cat live? -in Purr-is OR -in the Catacombs OR -in a chat-eau

English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”

French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre.Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée !”

What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!

In the cute fantasies: Est-ce que tu manges du poulet ? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN !!!!! In reality: Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!

I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"

Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?

In Greece.