French Jokes

in Puns

After an explosion at a French cheese factory… all that was left was De Brie

in Animal

Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

in German

A German went to France for holiday and here is the scene, French border staff: Occupation? German: No, no, no, just visiting.


An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The old lady thinks, “I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.”

The blonde thinks, “I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him.”

The Frenchman thinks, “I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.”

The Englishman thinks, “I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.”


English: Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no. Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?” “Under my bench,” he replies.

French: Toto est à l’école et demande s’il peut aller au salle de bain. La maîtresse dit non. Puis, elle demande à Toto, “Où est le plus grand riviere du monde ?” “Sous mon banc,” il répond.

in School

And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up and I’ll see you on Monday

Daniel King
in French Fries

What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

in German

How do you escape a French prison?

Yell angrily in German.

in Aunt

What do you call your angry french aunt

A crossaunt

in Bad

I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, “Wii!”


How do you sink an American battleship?

Have the French build it

in Adult

Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public? because the french government was using the guillotine in public on new born baby boys for circumcision

Amazing Grace

What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!


English: It’s the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”

French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre.Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée !”

in Greek

did you know that French fries aren’t from France? There cooked in Greece.


Where does a French cat live? -in Purr-is OR -in the Catacombs OR -in a chat-eau


The American salute start’s with your hand being facing flat towards the ground on your head. The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American Salute. The French salute starts your hands in the air. The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.

Daniel King
in French Fries

Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?

In Greece.


So two cats, one English (named “One Two Three Cat”) and one French (named Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river. One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. Un Deux Trois Cat was nowhere to be seen. So One Two Three Cat figured that Un Deux Trois Cat sank.

The American

3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three “You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren’t that heartless so we’ll let you choose your deaths.” So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said “Viva la France” and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said “For the queen” and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself “Try make a canoe out of this one!”