You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
Alphabet Soup Sentence
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. This joke is saying you're so dumb, you can't even form a simple sentence. Even if you had all the letters of the alphabet right in front of you...in a bowl of soup...which, by the way, you'd probably spill all over yourself.