The 20+ Best Constipation Jokes

There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil

What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this s**t!"

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated When I told him this, he said, 'Are you kidding me?'.

I said, 'I shit you not.'

How do you help a constipated person?

U scare the shit out of them

What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.

Have you heard about the movie constipation?

No,Because It never came out...

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

How do you stop constipation?

You scare the crap outta them.

(Crap is another word for poop)

What did the Constipated bum say to the other bum?

Pls don't s**t on me

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Ok so I have a dairy and sugar allergy and if I eat it I get REALLY CONSTIPATED so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol

What do you tell your butt check when you need to use the bathroom hold it in so you want get constipated and die.

What's harder than taking a shit trying to take a shit while constipated

So uh I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste and uh, he is constipated now I AM EVIL :3

This isn't a joke but in some countries children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated

3 boy chiwawa were hot about this girl chiwawa. She tells them I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence. First dog say... I love cheese but liver is bland. She replay.. Really original. Next dog.. I love liver but chesse makes me constipated.. She replay.. Ewe gross. Third dog steps up.. Man Liver alone cheese mine. Winner dog 3.