Constipation Jokes

Puns

Anonymous

There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.

7

Tommaso

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated When I told him this, he said, 'Are you kidding me?'.

I said, 'I shit you not.'

yer mum

What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this s**t!"

Mini Marshmallow

in Toilet

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil

JokeMaker

in Toilet

How do you help a constipated person?

U scare the shit out of them

Movie

Anonymous

Have you seen the new movie Constipation? You haven't? That's because it hasn't come out yet.

Country

Anonymous

What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.

0

Dudbdufbdjxnc

What did the Constipated bum say to the other bum?

Pls don't s**t on me

Stop

Anonymous

How do you stop constipation?

You scare the crap outta them.

(Crap is another word for poop)

Movie

Anonymous

Have you heard about the movie constipation?

No,Because It never came out...

Fat

Anonymous

your mamma so fat thanos had to clap 4 times

Royal

in Nun

Two nuns walk into a liquor store and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had. The clerk replied "Heck no sister, you nuns and aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son it is not for us you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation." The clerk said "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!" One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!

Wilber boot ┌( ಠ‿ಠ)┘

Ok so I have a dairy and sugar allergy and if I eat it I get REALLY CONSTIPATED so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ lol

Sans the Skeleton

in Puns

Have you seen the movie Constipation It hasn't come out yet

Blow

Anonymous

What does a huffle puff wolf say? “I will huffle and puffle and blow you house down”

That is retaliated to Harry Potter 🧙🏼‍♂️

Check

Anonymous

What do you tell your butt check when you need to use the bathroom hold it in so you want get constipated and die.

Dad

Anonymous

Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation? Son: No Dad: It hasn't come out yet

Puns

Anonymous

Have you heard about the movie about constipation?

Me neither it hasn't come out yet.

HOPEPSI

This isn't a joke but in some countries children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated

Jake From State Farm

in Toilet

Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation? You: No Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!