Constipation Jokes

Anonymous
in Puns

There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.

Mini Marshmallow
in Toilet

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil

Anonymous

Have you heard about the movie constipation?

No,Because It never came out…

yer mum

What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? “Together we can stop this s**t!”

JokeMaker
in Toilet

How do you help a constipated person?

U scare the shit out of them

Anonymous

Have you seen the new movie Constipation? You haven’t? That’s because it hasn’t come out yet.

Anonymous
in Country

What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.

0
Jake From State Farm
in Toilet

Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation? You: No Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated When I told him this, he said, ‘Are you kidding me?’.

I said, ‘I shit you not.’

Ello

So uh I did this thing where I put soap on my brother’s toothbrush and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste and uh, he is constipated now I AM EVIL :3

All Hail Crystal Lord

Have you heard of the movie “Constipation”? No?

Because it hasn’t come out yet.

0
Anonymous

How do you stop constipation?

You scare the crap outta them.

(Crap is another word for poop)

Sans the Skeleton
in Puns

Have you seen the movie Constipation It hasn’t come out yet

in Nun

Two nuns walk into a liquor store and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had. The clerk replied “Heck no sister, you nuns and aren’t supposed to drink that stuff!” The nun said, “Well my son it is not for us you see, it is for Mother Teresa,” then the nun whispers, “She has the constipation.” The clerk said “Oh, in that case, it’s on the house. Here’s the biggest jug we have.” The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled he goes over to them and says, “You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!” One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!

Matthew
in Orphan

Have you seen the movie constipated?

It hasn’t came out yet.

Anonymous
in Puns

Have you heard about the movie about constipation?

Me neither it hasn’t come out yet.

Anonymous
in Dad

Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation? Son: No Dad: It hasn’t come out yet

Anonymous

What do you tell your butt check when you need to use the bathroom hold it in so you want get constipated and die.

Anonymous

What’s harder than taking a shit trying to take a shit while constipated

Anonymous

What does a huffle puff wolf say? “I will huffle and puffle and blow you house down”

That is retaliated to Harry Potter 🧙🏼‍♂️

HOPEPSI

This isn’t a joke but in some countries children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated

Meat dept. 1508
in Meat

3 boy chiwawa were hot about this girl chiwawa. She tells them I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence. First dog say… I love cheese but liver is bland. She replay… Really original. Next dog… I love liver but chesse makes me constipated… She replay… Ewe gross. Third dog steps up… Man Liver alone cheese mine. Winner dog 3.

Anonymous

Perfect dinner joke

Did you hear about the new movie constipated

It hasn’t come out yet

Connor Simpson

Have you seen the new movie “Constipated”?

No, it hasn’t come out yet