Language jokes
We don't read backwards.
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Americans: I will cook the pizza.
Italians: I cooka de pizza!
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."