Language Jokes

I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know why.

wo(man) fe(male) we(men)

dishwash(her)

What did the Asian people name their retarded son?

Sum Ting Wong.

One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

"What part of the dog did you get?"

A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.

This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"

"Of course," she says.

The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"

The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"

Wait a damn minute

A man looks thoughtfully at a treat on a stick. The text reads, "Nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there's no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order."

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?

Change your name to "Rape."

I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.

Americans: I will cook the pizza.

Italians: I cooka de pizza!

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."