Language jokes
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?
"Sum Ting Wong."
Why can't two Asians make a white kid?
Two wrongs don't make a white.
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.