Language jokes
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory!
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
Memes
Friends who can't speak german always ask why my passwort is 19275716817...
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?
"Sum Ting Wong."
Why can't two Asians make a white kid?
Two wrongs don't make a white.
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.