Language jokes
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.
Clarm chin ass bou ducky wack wakaka chuck chuyli bingbong DA sauec.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)
Never mind. You won't understand.
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"
The son: "I don't know, can I?"
The mom: "May you?"
The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.
Why is 8 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9. If you think it doesn't make sense, then it is "7 ate 9."
How do Mexicans begin counting?
Juan, Two, Three.
What did the funny bone say to the skin?
"You're not humerus, I am!"
Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."
(I am a penis!) HA HA!
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.