Language jokes
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
wo(man) fe(male) we(men)
dishwash(her)
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.