Bull jokes
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
i wanna be a firefighter when i grow up
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.
Three cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.
Cowboy 1 says, "I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands."
Cowboy 2 says, "I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb."
Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college? Bye-son.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.