Language jokes
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
What is a good nut?
A magic nut!
I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
1 + 1 = window.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To master the art of RAP-LETICS!
My wife's dyslexic, but hey, nobody's perfect.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
Me: What are you?
Jake: A muddeasso.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
Why did you say hi? Babies don't talk.
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
Chinmey?
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Knock knock.
A joke.
U.
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Gwen can talk, please?
Sugar Honey Ice Tea.
I FORGOT MY JOKE!
Why was eight afraid of seven? Because 7, 8, 9!