Jesus jokes

"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus.

What was Jesus's favorite food?

Answer: Snails

Guys, this is so disrespectful, I love Jesus. I go to church every Tuesday morning to give Jesus a... giffffffft.

So disrespectful guys. #jesusismyhubby

Jesus is what he eats!

Shit!

Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"

What is Jesus' favorite band?

Nine Inch Nails.

Jesus Christ does exist, he does, and he is the son of God... a God that doesn't exist XD

How did Jesus kill himself?

He fell from his bike.

How many times did he die?

Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.

Your family.

Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.

God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.

Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!

Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was pegged.

Lachlan's life.

Ghanshyam.

Why is Lani Jesus? Go die.

Jesus has a twisted humor.

kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.