Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
Did jeasus die a virgin Of course not he got nailed before he died!
Orphan finds genie
Orphan:my first wish is to be Rich
Genie: of course
Orphan:my second wish is to be famous
Genie:done
Orphan: I wish my parents can come back Genie: I told you I can't bring people back from the dead
of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! he obviously liked being nailed!
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son and that's why we adopted you.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter".
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter".
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter".
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important"?
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here".
Jesus is the worst just joking he is the best Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle Jesus comes from Bethlehem😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross? Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter Vacation.
In the bible it says Jesus died for our sins but he came back to life so what did he sacrifice? Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope he got nailed before he died.
Me:Why did the bus drop his ice cream? Sanity to live: I don't know? Me:He was run over by Timmy!!! Sanity to live?*dies* Me:*At edge of bridge* wow sweat view Sanity to live:*resurrected* Narrator: sometimes a bridge is all you need... (sponsored by jumping bridges)
Jesus was being hug up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out ''Peter, peter come to me!'' So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when i reach the top the Romans cut of my arms and chuck me back down the hill. ''Peter, peter come to me!'' cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill then the Romans cut my legs of and threw me back down. For the third time Jesus cries ''Peter peter come to me!''. So i wriggle up the hill and I guess the romans pitied me and let me through. ''Look peter, I can see my house from here!''
What the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ? One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldnt work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. (Ben Shapiro 2020)
I took 7 coins from someone, he even came back from the dead to get them.
