Policy jokes
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:
"F*ck off! You won’t bring it back."
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week. She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
Gun control...
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
Healthcare these days is a bit of an Obamanation.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Politics.
What are American schools?
Shooting ranges.
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
Okay, the joke's over. Bring back Trump!
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.