Cross jokes
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
Immigration jokes just cross the line.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says "No Tres passing."
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?