They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. -- Which makes me an eighth theist.
I moved all the bibles to the fiction section because there is no god as said Stephen Hawking in 2011 but in 2018 god said there was no Stephen Hawking
The bible said, Adam and Eve.....So I did both.
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said "Are you going to ask for directions or what?".
What does the initials bible stand for? Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
Yo mama is so ugly she makes the devil read the bible
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks? That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
In the bible it says Jesus died for our sins but he came back to life so what did he sacrifice? Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
YOOO Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
What does B.I.B.L.E. Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence Does it cycle now?
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself. So I treat everyone like garbage
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
How does Moses make his cup of tea Hebrews it
Jesus said to his disciples "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life". Thomas came fifth however so he only got a toaster.
Jesus and Moses come back to earth. Moses says, let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before. So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before. Jesus quips, close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last. So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him, Moses says, hey it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before.
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.
One day little Jonny and little Susan were in bible class and little susan had been tired that day so she kept falling asleep and the teacher said to little susan who is our lord and savier and little jonny poked her in the but with a push pin and she yelled JESUS CHRIST and the teacher goes thats right go back to be and then the next thing the teacher asked who gave up there son for our sins and little jonny poked her again and she yelled GOD AL MIGHTY and she says thats right go back to bed and the next quisten the teacher asked was what did ADAM SAY TO EVE after there 13th child little jonny poked her in the but again she yelled IF YOU STICK TAHT THING IN ME AGAIN I AM GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHUV IT UP YOUR OWN ASS AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT
Did jesus cut his nails? No! His nails cut through him.
