Injury jokes
He got a paper cut and bled out.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
"Daveon, stop screaming for help because I broke your kneecaps!"
Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!
Goofy ahh grandpa fell down the stairs, and he said, "Damn!"
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
My bad, I kick me bad in if balls, and he got so fucking mad.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?
"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"