Injury

Injury jokes

Doctor

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

Wheelchair

Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To eat Bob's arms.

Bob went to hospital and had no arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Bob.

Toe

My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.

Parrot

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.

Javelin

What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?

A baby with a javelin in its head!

Friend

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

Paramedic

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

Cow

What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.

Michael Jackson

What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?

"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"

Kick

What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?

You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"