Kick

Kick Jokes

Chalk outline

A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.

Idiot

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

Hospital

I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.

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  • Doctor

    I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...

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  • women's rights

    I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."

    911

    Me: Want to play 911?

    My little brother: What's that?

    Me: It's where I kick your legs and you fall.

    Johnny Depp

    Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

    Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

    Bucket

    I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

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  • Orphanage

    So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.

    Hospital

    I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.

    Library

    I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.

    Law

    The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.

    School shooting

    One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.

    9/11

    Me: Wanna play 9/11?

    Friend: What's that?

    Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

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  • Emo

    - The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

    - How did the gay person die? Homicide.

    - Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

    - When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

    - I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

    - I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

    - How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.