A man gats kicked out of police camp after writing “Who’s that Pokémon” next to all of the chalk outlines

My grandfather was there when the titanic sank…he shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they Finally kicked him out of the movie theater…haha

I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

You wanna know who didn’t kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn’t; nor did he bite the dust.

How do you circumsize a hillbilly?

Kick his mother in the jaw

How do you circumcise a hill billy… Kick his sister in the jaw

The quiet kid starts playing Pumped Up Kicks in the parking lot before school.

I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back

When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays pumped up kicks

A blonde, burnette and a red-head are running from the police. They come across an old shack, with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the burnette in it. She goes, “Mew, mew.” The police say, “Oh, it’s just a bag of kittens.” Then they kick the one with the red-head. “Woof, woof.” They think, “Oh, it’s just a bag of puppies.” Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, “POtaTOES!!” And gets arrested.

What’s more fun than nailing a baby to the floor Ripping it off with a kick

How do you circumcise someone from Alabama? Kick his sisters jaw

How do you circumcise a redneck?

You kick his sister in the jaw

A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and see’s a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running building momentum before launching himself at the nun catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement. He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nuns ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habbit and lifting her limp to her feet til face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace the drunk victoriously growled. Your not so bloody tough tonight are ya Batman.

Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs! Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie… But she still is in my basement, since she can’t run!

friend: My bike doesn’t have a kick stand so it can’t stand up.

me: nah it’s just two tired.

Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.