Kick

Kick jokes

Chalk outline

A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.

Idiot

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

Hospital

I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.

women's rights

I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."

Memes

Doctor

I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...

911

Me: Want to play 911?

My little brother: What's that?

Me: It's where I kick your legs and you fall.

Johnny Depp

Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

Bucket

I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

Orphanage

So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.

Hospital

I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.

Library

I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.

Law

The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.

School shooting

One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.

9/11

Me: Wanna play 9/11?

Friend: What's that?

Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

Emo

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.