Injury jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
I slit my wrists.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
She tried to play patty cake!
Memes
Bro is doing tricks on itđ
Why did Sally get a black eye? Because she decided to play football.
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
Your forehead is so big you can jump without getting hurt.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
A man walks in a bar. Ouchie!
I'll break your bones, b*tch.
What do you call a person with a hole in their head? Dead.
What did the girl say when she ran through the door?
Ouch.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she wonât get out of her wheelchair and use it.
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
Itâs raining, itâs pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didnât wake up in the morning.