Injury jokes
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!
I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!
Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.