Injury Jokes

What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?

With a pitchfork.

So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"

What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.

I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."

What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.

OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.

working on a thing

A digital drawing shows a person with brown hair and a blue shirt. The person is injured and bleeding, with a visible bruise under one eye. The background consists of a blue sky with white clouds and a bright sun. Two orange butterflies are flying around the person's head. Yellow grass-like strokes are at the bottom.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, “Whats that?” the little boy says, “That’s my little red race car.” 10 minutes later the boy looks down and asks, “Whats that?” the little girl says, "that’s my little red race car garage.” So later that night the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She said yes and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit. Down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor, the mother asks "What happened?” the little girl says, “We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off.”