Injury jokes
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
Whatβs worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
Memes
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!
Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.
I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!
When you get injured π’
When you get injured in America πππππ΅π΅π΅π΅π΅π©π©π©
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
Well, I didnβt get as high as I wanted to, but Iβm high enough that if I fall Iβd probably break something.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!