Injury jokes
I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!