Injury jokes
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.
I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.