Injury Jokes

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

A paraplegic after a house fire.

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.

None.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

😔

A table titled "Evolving From Violent Language" with two columns. The left column, under the heading "Instead Of", lists phrases with the word "concussion" in them. The right column, under "Say This," offers alternative silly phrases.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈

Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.

My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.